Nearly 30 years ago I watched my father’s decent into clinical depression and eventually Alzheimers disease. When he was 60 years old my mother became my father’s sole caregiver, fierce guardian, primary advocate and support system.

Now ironically I have assumed my mother’s role, but I am caring for her.

In 2020 my husband and I moved Joan into our house. Due to her physical issues and a diagnosis of dementia she was unable to live independently.

As her primary caregiver I have experienced a true baptism under fire. I realized I am not alone being one of 63 million caregivers in the US. It is through no fault of the people who need assistance, it’s part of a system wide failure with home, respite and memory care financially out of reach for most.

When caring for an elderly loved one, especially one with dementia, life moves at a different speed. It is a unique dance, one that can be isolating, frustrating, heartbreaking, but in the blink of an eye, hilarious, joyous, and completely human.

We find happiness, laughter and connection in the in moments we have together. 
Rather than an observer I am on the front line.

And finally the dogs. Life is not complete without them. They are pure love and make it possible for that exhale when we need it most. Recently we adopted Bebe to join our pack and it became a mutual rescue. Joan cannot get through the day without Bebe’s company and Bebe lives for Joan. They are inseparable. Bebe guides her in the present moment.

Thank you to our dogs, Eduardo, Reynard and Bebe,  but also those who have left us (only physically) Madame Ming, Mr. Ping and the “Wolf”

They are a never ending source of joy and inspiration.